Friday, May 4, 2012

Miracle Baby is one month old today!

Kisses from Deborah!

She loves to watch the news!  That's what she is doing in this pic, if you pick her up or disturb her when she is busy with CNN... she will get very cranky very fast!  In other pics, she either looks at the camera or the person taking it (usually her Mommy)... but not when she's busy watching world reports! :)

My beautiful, sweet niece.... I love you so much!

Good morning!  I thought I'd start off the day with some cuteness!  I can't believe she was born a month ago, what a blessing. 

I'm still getting used to the fact that I am blogging again.... I'm working on the weight update post for this weekend.  I've been pretty darn good if I must say so myself!  I had one 3-4 week rough patch, but then I've just been killin' it.  I actually lost 5 pounds on vacation in Vegas.  When you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get there... if not, you'll find excuses.  It's the way it is.  I have a few goals that are all rolling into one awesome target by December.  I think I've said it before, but 2012 is MY YEAR.  That doesn't mean rainbows all the time  - but it means I am going to own this year.  It's just over four months into the year and I must say that the most amazing things have happened to me already.  :)  Positive attracts positive.

This one is short and quick, because I'm off to sit on an interview panel.  I'm happy to work for an agency that is still hiring, almost all the time.  Life is good here and I work with great people!

Also, I forgot how annoying Anonymous comments can be..... I do allow them, but haven't received one in a very long time until yesterday.  If you're going to stand up and state an opinion, have a backbone enough to do it and sign your name to it.  Oh wait, this is the internetz and anything goes.... Peachy!

Have a fantabulous day, I'll be around to do some reading this afternoon.  HAPPY FRIDAY to all of you fellow 9 to 5ers out there!  (8-430, same diff)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Final 30 Before 30 Update!

http://missapril-30before30.blogspot.com/p/30x30-list-progress-and-notes.html 

  ***Red indicates items not complete, there are 13.  I got pretty darn close on most of them though.

***One item, #16, is a wash.  So, really it was 29x30  ;)

The Official 30x30 List 
1. Lose 85 pounds!!!!  **The goal was to weigh 220 on my  bday of 4/21 - fail, but so freakin' close!**

2. Do some genealogy of my family, create a family tree

3. Write in my journal with more frequency and consistency. It is kind of sporadic now.

4. Get a passport Haven't even thought about this one, need to.

5. Start learning Spanish (I'm awful about this and don't really know how to go about it, very rural area and not much for learning opportunities... 1/26/12)

6. Have my idea for a custom piece of art done in memory of T (my soul mate); whether it be a tattoo or canvas for my home.  This is a really tough one for me and it hurts my heart to think about.  My boyfriend/love of my life was hit by a train and killed in June 2010 and I don't think I've been the same since it happened.  One day I might accept it so I can get over it.... Not today.

7. Have my Washington State trip for June 2012 planned!    Date is actually set for July 2012

8. Make a totally awesome custom birthday cake for a family member This will probably actually be a cake for the shower for miracle baby, her first cake ever. Well, even though she can't eat any.  Her party is Memorial Day weekend, so I'll be doing it then!

9. Pay off all consumer debt Well in progress.  

10. Create 2 presentations. The topics will probably be some social issues, etc.  Progress, ideas selected - will be part of my job.

11. Have my next educational goal decided and well in the process..... whether it be another degree or some certification(s) (*1/24/12 - I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  I have two bachelor's degrees and one Master's.  I don't want any more student debt until I know what I want to do).

12. Always carry a water bottle with me

13. Gather information/stories about my Dad's life, his time in office, his childhood, his travels.... This has been the most amazing and fulfilling item on my list.  If 29 of the list went ignored, this is the 1 that has made me feel most complete as a person.  My Dad died when I was 6, I now realize just how amazing he was as a human being, a politician, a friend.... 

14. Be able to jog 3 miles without feeling or sounding like I am on the brink of death... Registered for a couple 5k's, so it just got real! :)

15. (It's a secret!!) Still a secret.... Meeeooow!!!  This secret was amazing. :)

16. Go visit my little desert friend, I have been saying I would for years and haven't gone yet. This one is removed from the list due to drama city.   I will think of a replacement goal. No replacement goal has been set. Meh, turns out this one was just a complete wash....

17. Consume only water and raw foods for 10 days straight

18. Have a spa day

19. Go to a touring Broadway show I'm going to see Elton John in October in Las Vegas- that will suffice, although it isn't the same it will be quite the performance experience!! **Goal Complete, Elton was amazing!**

20. Buy a couch!

21. Own a pair of real diamond earrings, just basic studs.

22. Snail Mail or hand deliver at least 10 birthday cards (7 down, 3 to go....)

23. Own a good cardio machine for home (no excuses on snowy days!)

24. Attend church at least one time a month (beginning May 2011) This didn't happen.

25. Host some sort of get together with old friends. Oops, should have been more dedicated during the holidays when the out of town people were 'home'.  Potential to host something the first weekend in June 2012, excited!

26. Read 100 Books

27. Learn more yoga and do it regularly

28. Start carrying a camera with me and taking pictures more often and learn more about photography (So far this has been a fail, will improve!)

29. Make a book of quotes, lyrics, images, etc. that have inspired, encouraged, or otherwise humored me in my life

30. Obtain my Master’s level license for practicing Social Work.  I am not required to be Licensed to practice at my current job, so I let myself get real comfortable.  Not sure what I'll do with this one yet.... It kind of goes back to #11 and not knowing what I want to be when I grow up! :)

I just have to put this out there......

So, there's a blog and blogger out there that isn't my cup of tea... but like a train wreck, it's just something that I can't turn away from.  The media, the whining, the cupcakes, the not losing weight in YEARS.... it's just all strange to me.

I was blogging and not losing for a period of 2 months and felt like a jackass.  Remember this little period of my life:

  http://missapril-30before30.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-dont-even-want-to-push-publish-button.html

I don't understand blogging for years and not losing any weight.  I guess when I say this community is a great support and good friendly cyber ass kicking when I need it - I mean it.  If I wasn't utilizing it for that and being genuinely helped in the process, I would leave.  My blog is much more than weight loss, there's a whole list of things I'm working on... however, that has become a primary focus.  As much as I adore all of you, if I was blogging just to blog and talk about cupcakes and getting my nails done -  I would find myself to be pointless and go out and live my life, posting not included.  I'm rational like that though... not everyone is.

So anyhow, back to the train wreck that I can't stop watching......... It blogged about hating Southwest Airlines a few times now.  I commented on the one in December, but I was quite careful with my words.  I was very diplomatic because I know that only 'nice' comments are actually posted on this particular blog.  Here is what I said, and really... I meant it (at the time):

Miss April December 1, 2011 at 10:39 am
, I’m sorry you had to experience this. I’m glad you are speaking out about it in a public forum as awareness and action needs to be taken.
The strange thing is that Southwest is my airline of choice. I only fly Southwest and I fly a couple times a year. For work trips, I tell them to book Southwest even though the airport is 4 hours away vs. the one 2 hours away with other airlines. They treat me so well. I’m always a little nervous when I get in line, but it’s mostly looks from other customers. The agents are always very nice and treat me just like everyone else, even at my highest weight of 333 to my weight when I flew with them last week of 260.
http://missapril-30before30.blogspot.com/2011/10/some-observations-from-vacation.html
*That’s a post from my recent trip to Vegas. Item #1 talks about my only interaction from SWA staff and he was so nice and discreet about it.

Don’t get me wrong, , (or other readers)… I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings or the gravity of the situation you experienced with them. I think it just goes to show it is a ‘gamble’. Maybe you’ll be treated well, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll be humiliated or maybe you’ll be treated like gold. On that same trip, when I was checking my bags – the lady said, “hey do you want some drink tickets? A guy had free ones, but didn’t want them.” Extra perks for a fat white woman like myself…. and you get the devil’s treatment. It is horrible. They do need their whole policy revamped, solidified and followed with consistency.
You’re a trooper to give them a second chance, I don’t think I could if I was treated like you were. I hold grudges, big time. Kudos for speaking out, fight the good fight with this. I wish you well!

Ok, so at that time, I was genuinely sympathetic over the situation that she had (again).  We have all had those days as fatties (I can say that because I am one, suckas!).... rude looks from staff, a snarky comment from an employee somewhere, being laughed at by a complete stranger... it happens.  I think it does seem to be a gamble with Southwest or with anyone else really, you may not be treated well.  That's life, right?!  That particular post went all over the place and started making allegations that maybe the blogger was treated poorly because she was a fat, white woman.  Would they treat a large black woman the same?  Puh-lease!!!  That is taking the victim card way too fuckin' far, in my personal opinion.  That's why I added how I got the free drink tickets as a fat, white woman.


So, today's post says she is suing SWA.  Not for money, of course.  For attention!  :)  In my personal opinion, which I'm entitled to have... remember?  Don't say I'm wrong or insult me or I'll sue you for no money because you violated my constitutional rights...........  What.The.Fuck.Ever.  I'm not sympathetic any more, I'm annoyed. 

So, here's my comment from today after the lawsuit announcement:


Southwest continues to be my airline of choice, from when I was well over 300 pounds to now and in the future.  I have never had a problem with them.  I commented on your last post about it and I'll say it again.  If you were that apprehensive about it, maybe you shouldn't have used the vouchers in the first place?!  I wouldn't have given someone a second chance if I was that upset about being treated poorly.  There are plenty of other airlines out there, but some people just can't turn down a freebie.  It was your choice to accept the vouchers and use them.  It was also your own behavior that had you at the same size on the second flight, potentially opening up the same criticism.  A clear policy would be nice, but the world doesn't revolve around the feelings of obese people (mine included).  Some airlines don't even have a 'customers of size' policy, so at least SWA has tried to address the issue.  If a traveler has concerns about fitting into the seat or facing humiliation, there is a reason for that - it comes down to personal responsibility.  I don't think it's their policy that is the culprit, it's probably a matter of employee training - which all large corporations could use a little more of on their bad days.  Who knows, maybe something good will come out of this?

My guess is that it won't be published, but I could be wrong.  I just don't know how much more clear the SWA policy could be - and I don't think it's the policy.  It's employee training.  So how would you make the policy more transparent than it is?  You can't set a 'weight' limit.  What if you're a big, muscular football player so you hit the weight limit?  That isn't fair.  You can't really set a more specific inches limit that would make any sense.  What if you're the same football player who has broad shoulders and touches the top part of the next person's seat - do they have to buy two seats?  That isn't fair.

I had to get this out there, if you have any opinions or potential remedies... let me know.  I generally don't engage in this back and forth with other bloggers, it's really not a picture of who I am.... but when enough is enough, I've got to say something to get it off my mind.

I just flew with SWA for my birthday trip to Vegas two weeks ago and it was fantabulous!  I also used them for my Albuquerque trip in March and that was fabulous.  I'm booking my July trip to Seattle with them.  I am possibly going to DC early August and will use them.  Umm.... Los Angeles in the fall, New Orleans for my 12/12/12 trip - yup.... Southwest all the way, baby!! :)  Life isn't fair.  Suck it up, buttercup!

Jeez, only three days in to my return to blog land and I'm up in arms about something - go figure.  Now, back to our regularly scheduled awesomeness!! :)

Wednesday, May 2, 2012



May is my official kickoff for summer, and I have a fabulous summer planned.  I think in recent months I've 'lived life' more than I have in a couple years.  Compared to two years ago, I wouldn't recognize my schedule or life as my own - I would have thought it to be some awesome stranger's plans.  Nope, they are my own... Stop Existing, Start Living!  I can say without a doubt that a huge part of that is because of the weight loss.  I was trapped in my own body, I was big.... really big.  I was ashamed of what I had allowed myself to become. I still can't believe how far I've come! 

With summer comes more invitations for barbecues, patio drinks, etc..... I have to come up with a game plan.  Last summer I didn't stand my ground too often on the weight loss and 'forbidden foods'.  I think I ate a lot of darn cupcakes, those tasty little devils.  I have to be more concrete about what is and is NOT worth it to me. 

Summer Ground Rules:
1. no drinking booze at concerts (I attend a lot of those all day out door metal and rock music festivals - water is key!)  **Two big concerts this month - Marilyn Manson & Rob Zombie!!**
2. Walk a 5k at least 4 times a week
3. Get up at 5:30am and exercise for 30 minutes (cardio)
4. No fried foods.  Period.  Not even Oreos or twinkies (FYI, other than lots of alcohol... those were my only vacation food f*ckups - I even requested no birthday cake)
5. No red meat.  I LOVE grilled burgers, but I'm going to have to learn to love grilled chicken or a heated Boca burger just the same, it's just not worth it to have red meat.
6. Go to the gym 5 times a week, even if it's just to use a treadmill (it's been very rainy here lately).  I have officially paid for a gym membership through December 31st.  The free gym at the health clinic was great, but the times are so limited since it is only open until 6pm.
7. Give up coffee.  Give up diet Dr. Pepper
8. 120 ounces of water and/or green tea a day.  I've been slacking on this for about ten days and I can definitely feel it.

Those are the basics that will keep me on track.  I have a very fun summer planned and I don't want to let myself ruin it by giving in to temptations all the time.  My big summer trip is Seattle in mid-July.  My trip to Washington State was on my 30x30 list and I'm finally getting it done.  I have some unfinished emotional business to complete out there - that's been so tough to carry around with me the last two years.  Things can only get even better after the trip! :)

Monday, March 5, 2012

It is Day Ten

Tomorrow, I can chew.  Tomorrow, I can chew.  Tomorrow, I can chew.

Juice fast is awesome!  I do miss chewing though?!  Is that stupid or what?  What is it that I get to chew? Well, breakfast will be almond milk and Syntha 6 protein powder, lunch will be organic iceberg lettuce with Walden Farms Ranch dressing, a boiled egg, pineapple, red onion and shaved carrots.  I have decided I didn't work this hard to start putting total crap back in my body.

Last fall, I did a 10 day 'fruits, veggies, raw almonds, herbal tea' self-challenge.  It was just something I had on my 30x30 list to see if I could do it.  I did it, I rocked that shit out.  Then you know what I did the next day?!  I ate pizza, cheetos, and some other total crap!  I have had to do a lot of talking to myself about how this is for health overall and it's not the cry baby 'deprivation' that dieters talk about.  This is me getting stronger, healthier, adding years to my life to spend with my friends and family!

I fought hard with boredom and mild depression eating this weekend.  I had no choice, because I wasn't going to give up on my 10 day commitment.  Knowing James is gone and really cold, crappy weather had me stuck inside most of the time.  I re-arranged my home office and living room.  When bored and unable to eat, move heavy shit around in your house.  You'll appreciate the distraction and the re-styled look!! :)

Some of my fave juices:
carrot, cucumber, green apple

green apple, kale, celery, cucumber (my green machine!)

carrot and apple!  Yum!!

celery, carrot, pear

pear, strawberry, celery

**I add either celery, carrot, or cucumber to almost every juice because it gets the most juice out.  I add kale to every single juice, I put spinach in but it doesn't get that much juice.  Kale gets a decent amount, especially when you put a cucumber or celery in afterwards to finish juicing it and get all the green goodness out of the machine.   I add 1 small meyer lemon to almost every juice (not the sweeter ones like carrot & pear).

I'll be eating a lot of carrots!  I found 2 pound bags of organic carrots on sale for $1.39 this weekend.  I bought 3 bags.  6 pounds of carrots is a lot, but they do have a longer fridge life than most veggies.  I can juice and freeze the juice if I need to.  I couldn't pass that deal up though!

The pounds lost......... stay tuned because I'm gonna rock your world tomorrow with my weigh-in!! :)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

100 Mile Trip for Groceries soon......

It's 9:30am on Saturday.  Soon, I will be off for my 50 mile drive for grocery goodness.  I am running out of stuff for my juicer and my juice fast isn't over for 3 more days (Sat-Sun-Mon).  I've been reading on how to come off a juice fast.  Lots of ideas, not too many rules, but I do have to take it easy.  I think I want to keep having at least 1 juice per day.  It's just wonderful! 

I knew this day would come and we both dreaded it.... but the building that James was working on in our town is done.  He now lives back in his town full time.  He has practically lived with me since mid-November, while here building part of the school.  Now, the job is done and he is gone.  We have talked about it a lot, we are both committed to making this work.  He is so wonderful.  He has re-intoduced me to communication, honesty, respect.... all the things I had missed out on for so long while dating total jerks.  They weren't all like that, but the majority of them were.......  He now lives 2.5 hours away.  I'm still relatively new to this town, so I think I'm going to be lonely a lot of evenings during this transition.   This sucks, but we have a great relationship.... so we'll be fine. 

We still have discussions about the gambling.  He and his friends go to the casino's poker tournament every weekend.  The casino sends a driver (sometimes a Hummer limo) for them, they're THOSE guys.  The 'high rollers'... whatever.  He knows it is the one thing that bugs me and he has made improvement.  He thought I drank too much, and I haven't had a drop of alcohol in two months.  He had made major changes in the gambling.  I've been a total bitch to him about how it is one thing that scares me, it is a completely destructive addiction.  I give him the same allowances that I always give myself... Progress, not Perfection.  He's back in the same town now with the same friends who gamble like crazy.  If there's an end to us, it will be the gambling.  I've told him that.  I will stand by it too.  I watched gambling destroy my life when I was a kid.  I still see my Mom struggle with it.  I won't be a part of it again.  Nope. 

I have no energy or interest in going on this long trip for groceries.  It's ridiculous, I can't wait unti summer when the farmers are selling their melons and veggies on the side of the road out of the back of their pickup trucks.

Well, the road is calling...... off to get some green, organic goodness from the grocery store miles and miles away.  Have a lovely Saturday.

Go check out Mir's vLog, she is talking about walking.  Simple, yet wonderful.  I'll be going for a nice walk this evening when I get back!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Juice Fast is now going by very slowwwwwwwww

I started a juice fast last Saturday, February 25th.  Nothing but fresh made juice in my awesome juicer and almond milk.  I haven't had any protein supplements/shakes.  This is just for 10 days, not for life.  I am going for a detox effect vs. weight loss.  I have had some criticisms, I thank you for taking the time to email me.  I have visited with my Dr. about this.  I feel very energetic and kinda fabulous, actually!

Today was a rough one because there was food everywhere at the office.  The office is the worst place to be, there are some major eaters here.  Today they had Manwich sandwiches, fresh made salsa and guacamole and some baked beans.  Yum, yum, and double yum.  But, I had some green goodness and a fresh apple juice for a 'treat'.  I bought an electric tea kettle for my office and have a big bowl of various tea bags, I drink a lot of hot herbal tea.  The 'no coffee' part of this was the worst, especially considering I started on a weekend.  Saturday and Sunday mornings at my house mean fresh ground coffee beans from about 7-11am.  I drink LOTS of coffee.  I was almost climbing the walls without it and had a terrible headache.  It passed.  I'm still alive.

Come next Tuesday, March 6... I can 'chew' again.  I have had lots and lots of sugarfree gum.  That wasn't originally part of the plan, but I added it after figuring out that this totally sucks.  If I had this to do over again, I absolutely would!  I feel great.  I have energy.  I'm happy.  I'm learning that I CAN DO ANYTHING.  Turns out maybe I don't 'need' pasta or cupcakes or lemon cheesecake.  It really does nothing for me, I keep learning and I keep becoming stronger.