2/8/12: 245
One pound. Work has been wicked, I haven't been able to walk as much as I usually do. I know walking isn't strenuous, but it sure does help and pushes me through. I'm happy about the pound. This week, hope to be able to do more of my daily walking. I've been using my knee brace in the morning and again in the evenings, I don't wear it to work because it's a pain in the ass (knee). My knee does feel better, doesn't help that the weather goes from 50 degrees one day to 20 the next day.
To people who post their actual weight every week and keep a separate tab for it, etc.. I would like to applaud you and say thank you! I swear some people are just straight up bullshit, but that's their problem not mine.
I have been cruising blogs lately writing down starting weights, how long it took to get to current weight, etc.. It's a little depressing in a way because most people's starting weights are around what mine is right now. I started at 311, I was out of control and it's scary to think about how I was killing myself and living as a prisoner in my own body. I felt a little bummed out about it over the weekend because I read and wrote down a lot of numbers from blogs on Saturday morning. I almost felt embarrassed? I can't think of what word I'm looking for, but I felt weird because it took me SO LONG and my weight to get SO HIGH before I 'got it'. Before I cared. Eight months and 65 pounds is progress and I felt really celebratory about it last week, but then by Saturday I just felt stupid about it or something - like it shouldn't have been that in the first place. I felt like a jackass. It didn't last long and I know it's not about the numbers in the big picture and at least I did something about it, eventually. Anyhow, random thoughts from my crazy brain. 'Could have, would have, should have'....... none of that matters - I am doing it NOW, so I'll try to stay focused on that.
I listened to some good music on Saturday when I was feeling bummed and did LOTS of exercise and drank a ton of water & green tea. This helped me get over it and just clear my mind from the negative:
This is a big weekend for me! On Sunday, my best friend's little baby girl will be baptized and I am her Godmother. Her name is Isabelle and they call her Ellie, just like me! Look at my little angel, baby Ellie.
April, thank you for all your support. It's really so important to me, especially after these past few days. You help me so much, and I appreciate you more than you know. :) You are amazing!
ReplyDeleteI know the starting weight thing seems a bit bad, but some people start at 400+ and even 500+ you know. What's important is that it's moving in the right direction!
Hey, I'm 46 now. I didn't "get it" until last fall, so I've had 15 more years of messing up my knees and being fat than you have. Yeah, I wish I would have started sooner, but I'm pleased as punch that my next 45 years are going to be thinner than my last 45!
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter what other people do or where other people come from. Heck, someone out there surely was born without arms and legs and still ran a marathon. Still don't feel bad for myself for not doing that. There will ALWAYS be someone who started off better (or worse) than you, and there will always be someone who has come further (or not as far) as you. So, in the end, you are the person in the other corner of the ring, and no one else.
ReplyDeleteohhhhhh honey! I totally get you... When I started CDCC challenge I perused through all of Mir's followers. I was and am the fattest challenger. I am also the youngest challenger. That is a tough pill to swallow. In 24 years, I made it to 368 lbs... What I do like is the support I can offer others... when they think they can't do something, or working out is too hard, or they're beginning to have limited movement, like I've been experiencing for the last 7 years... I can help them. I can be the outside voice, in addition to their inside one that says "move while you can, don't gain any more weight." oh man... got a blog coming on...
ReplyDeleteI am with Diandra, the only valid comparison is with yourself and look how far you've come!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on being the Godmother of the cute baby Ellie. Have fun this weekend!
Aw what a cute baby! Being a Godmother is such a blessing.
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your weight loss!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing fabulously. You can look to others for inspiration but don't let it be a tool that you then beat yourself up with, we all move at our own pace... dance to the beat of our own drummers... sing to our own tunes, however offkey they may or may not be:-) You are doing it, that's what matters... as you pointed out! You know you are doing something good, you just keep at that & you celebrate every single ounce you lose because it's not easy and you deserve to give yourself credit where credit is due!
ReplyDeleteI wasted the first 8 years of my thirties being fat...you are way ahead of the game & WELL on your way to changing all the things you want to and accomplishing all the awesome goals you've set for yourself!
ReplyDeleteWell let's see, I started my weight loss blog & weighed 218 two years ago & last week weighed in at 227. So Yes-think you are doing FANTASTIC. I also fully expect you to pass me up with the commitment/progress you've made. Way to go woman!
ReplyDeleteit's not important where your journey began, it's that you're now on the road and you're doing amazing :D
ReplyDeleteyou know what they say -- hindsight is 20/20 -- all that matters is you are on the right path & no matter how long or how much longer than others it takes ya -- you WILL get there!
ReplyDeletelive for today!
wait until you're an old broad like me to have regrets... lol!
mwahs!
ohhhh & ellie is a doll -- congrats godmother or as my daughter calls her *godmuddah*
ReplyDeletehey do we gotta kiss your ring now?
*snicker*
Yay!! Commenting on your blog worked, I wonder what was different because I think I came to your blog the same way.
ReplyDelete**Comment** I need to review the progress. I really and truly think I have never look at the progress. All I know is where I am, where I would like to be and where I would LOVE to be!!
Don't dwell on where you were, it is important to know how far you have come. Who cares how long it takes, the thing to remember is you are doing it! You are succeeding! And you are a true inspiration to all who are on this journey with you.
ReplyDeleteA loss is a loss, right? The baby is adorable! I think it's the ultimate flattery to name your child after someone. So congrats Ellie!
ReplyDeleteI think anyone who has gained and in the process of losing a significant amount of weight goes thru those thoughts. But what can you do? You can only go forward right? And never return there! At least you did not wait until you were in your 40's to figure it out. Some among us a SLOW learners.
ReplyDeleteTake time to consider all you have done. THAT can be mind blowing.
Losing weight is hard. My starting weight was recorded last July/August, but really, I was that weight for a while -- at least a year, and I was only a little bit smaller than that for years. So while my weight loss might be "fast" since August, it was very slow since the time I became that weight. :) Every loss counts.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. Many bloggers I follow are below 200, I can't seem to get there. But it's okay I am doing what I can and life gets stressful and hard! Keep on keepin' on!
ReplyDeleteI think we've all questioned at some point why it's taken so long for us to start our weight journeys. It took me over 20 years of bad eating and no exercise, a death of a friend and health problems for my Dad to realise that I had to do something about my health.
ReplyDeleteThe important thing is that you want to get healthy and you have started to do something about it. You've done great and we are all very proud of what you have done so far.