Loving Myself

When I typed the title of this post, I laughed out loud a little bit because it seems strange to me.  I thought, "Do I love myself?".  I guess we'll find out.  Thanks Cyn, for hosting this.

Things I love about Myself:

1. my ability to know, understand, and GIVE unconditional love to those around me (hard lesson learned)

2. my smile and full lips

3. my willingness to learn, learn, learn AND apply knowledge to my life

4. my loyalty to friends and family - I will always be there for them.
5. my commitment to my weight loss and health (even when it wavered at times)

6. my hair when it's big as the state of Texas

7. my dedication to my career as a Social Worker - helping others, seeing beauty in people that society at large would just as well consider garbage and want to ignore, fighting for equality for those less fortunate, shaping policies that serve vulnerable populations, linking children and families to resources to better their lives

8. my love of books, reading, learning

9. my experiences in life and how they've shaped who I am, taught me lessons and gave me warm memories to think about when the world is cold

That list wasn't easy to come up with.  I pictured myself standing in front of a mirror and thinking - what do you love about what you see? What is great about you, to the core?  Maybe there should be more on the list, I don't know.

As far as how loving myself has inspired this weight loss journey, I would say it means everything.  I had to realize that I was killing myself.  I had to stop and start caring about myself, about my body.  I realized that my relationship with food was toxic.  I realized that as smart as I am; I was being completely ridiculous and foolish about my food choices, my sedentary ways and my health.  I dream of a happy future, travel, friends, family...... yet, I was layering on pounds like a coffin around me.  I had to do a lot of writing, journaling, thinking, and even crying to get to where I am.  I have to continue to learn to love myself, to care about 'my body' and realize it isn't a separate entity from my mind, my personality, my future.  It is my future.  I focused on career, academics, making other people happy, bla, bla bla... for years.  Now, I have to do me.  

My commitments:

1. I will love myself enough to lose another 50 pounds (and then move on to the next goal weight).

2. I will love myself enough to share positive vibes and happiness with the world.

3. I will love myself enough to treat my body good with healthy, nutritious REAL food.

4. I will love myself enough to free myself of debt (student loans and 1 credit card - 2 are paid off!!!)

5. I will love myself enough to remember the 'big picture' when making choices for my life on a daily basis.

6. I will love myself enough to allow others to love me, to not be closed off and fearful of being hurt.  I will trust people more and be open to receiving love from others.  (I've really been struggling with this lately.) 

Wow, I didn't think I'd feel emotional after this post, but I do.  Time to go for a walk........  :)