WI

Jan 18: 249
Jan 25: 248

I did tough workouts on Wednesday and Thursday because I knew I was going away for the weekend.  Friday, Saturday and Sunday I walked a lot, but no 'real workouts'.  Monday I noticed my wrist hurting, I used to have tendonitis in my left wrist and it seems to be acting up lately.  I did cardio and that was it.  Yesterday brought a morning sinus headache from hell followed by a stressful day at work.  I walked 1.5 miles last night and that was about all I could handle.

I wanted a 3 pound loss, but I am happy with 1 because I just couldn't hit the exercise like I have been.  I still made good food decisions - even on our weekend getaway.  We went shopping and doing little free site seeing in a city a couple hours away.  We were walking in a downtown area and ran right into a cupcake shop.  Of course, we went on in.  I had a french press coffee with vanilla infused milk.  We decided to split a raspberry-lemonade cupcake with amazing whipped frosting on it.

This is the first trip in a long time where I felt I didn't even think about food, food, food.  Usually, I look up new restaraunts I want to try, I would have had that cupcake shop and three others mapped out and planned, came home with a boatload of extras, dessert at every meal, found a buffet to eat, etc..  I was just genuinely looking forward to getting away, exploring a little, taking some walks because the weather was nice and having some quality time with James.  That's it.  That is a huge shift in thinking for me and I think it means... success!  :)  Who knew there was more to life than buffets?  I also stopped eating when I was satisfied, not full.  I ate slowly and really enjoyed indulging in delicious conversation with James more so than the food (although we did eat at some great places).

We stayed in a hotel and I went in the bathroom and said, 'Wow, this bathtub is huge!'.  James said it was not and that it was actually the same size as the one in my house, standard size.  I have lived in my house for a year now, but have never taken a bath there.  I always felt too big to have a nice bath, even though it is something I used to love.  It isn't real comfortable and the water just kind of used to go 'around' me instead of 'over' me so I can relax.  So, I had a bath in the hotel... came back home and had another bath.  I love it.  I also used to worry about getting stuck in the bathtub or breaking my ass trying to get out (I heard a horror story once and have always been nervous about it, since I was so darn big).  Anyhow, I will take that as a HUGE victory and I feel great about it.  It's sad and maybe even a little embarassing to admit and remember how weight issues held me back.  I plan to continue to shrink on the outside and grow stronger on the inside.

Life is good.  I'm happy with myself and it's been a while since I could say that.  I feel supported and loved, but I would deny or fail to see that if I wasn't happy with and loving ME first. 

Book Progress: The Food & Feelings Workbook by Karen R. Koenig, LCSW
I have finished the Introduction
Chapter 1: The Function of Feelings (You Mean there's a Point to all this Misery?)
Chapter 2: Fear of Feelings (Can't I learn to Outrun Them?)
Chapter 3: Feelings, Not Food (I'd Rather Suck on a Lemon!)

Cute titles, huh?  I will do a post on it sometime this week before my next weigh-in.  I find it to be a very valuable tool, it shows me how I have been slowly reprogramming myself... but identified some of the dysfunctions I need to still work through.  It's not the all mighty how to stop emotional eating and I don't think there is a book out there that is - but it is a wonderful resource.