Quick Update

Oct 30: 261
Nov 7: 257 pounds

I am not exercising, at all.  I don't have time and I also continue to stay in completely random places with friends and family.  I did stay at my house for two nights this weekend to do some things that I needed to.  I drink about 60 ounces of water a day, not my usual 100.  I don't know why I can't manage to drink water, but I would guess it's because life is quite literally upside down.  My knee has also been acting up, I think from sleeping in random beds that are not as comfortable as my own and I don't have my pillow for support.  Yes, I sleep with a pillow between my knees when I lay on my side, it's helpful.  Back to the knee brace the last couple days and that does seem to help.   

Breakfast has been Fage and fresh fruit.  Lunch has been whole wheat pasta with a little pesto and some cherry tomatoes or some scrambled eggs.  Snack has been candy or a cookie, for real.  Stupid Halloween.  On my desk, there are apples and an orange scattered, the fruit bowl they are supposed to be in is filled with candy that the agency gave us to hand out.  I need to fix that, huh?

  Supper is when I don't know what's going to happen.  I stay at random places, so I eat what they eat.  I stayed with someone last week and she says she knows I'm watching what I eat so she would bake chicken, I said that would be very nice.  I brought stuff to make a salad and also a loaf of whole grain bread.  She baked the chiken alright.... slathered in a layer of mayo and then coated in bread crumbs?  It was the strangest thing I'd ever eaten, but I know it is a common recipe.  It was very moist indeed.  I scraped the outside off and just ate the chicken.  One night it was hot beef sandwiches, slathered in gravy.  I ate it and I enjoyed it.  I can't say I care.  Walk a mile in my shoes right now and then criticize my eating, I fucking dare you.

I'm going to a Dr. appt today in an hour or so to get on happy pills.  This has been going on since September 19th.  If it were two weeks, I could shake it off.  I can't.  I sit at my desk sometimes and randomly start crying, ok that only happened twice but still.  I went in and resigned my job one day, but was talked out of it.  It was very good I was talked out of it, because I seriously had no business doing that.  I was just at a breaking point.  I have been living at a breaking point.  The phrase 'hanging by a thread' is literal here and now.  I was just doing what I needed to do until vacation, remember... the Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada!  I had a blast, I came back and it seemed that things just got worse.  I keep waiting for it to get better, but this is week 7 of living in hell.  7 weeks of someone stalking, threatening, destroying, stealing, lying, harassing.....  You get the drift.   

I've done all the things I'm supposed to do as far as authorities.  I'm tired.  I'm apathetic.

I don't even want to post this, because it's so negative.  That SO isn't me, but I still feel like the character in a Koontz book.  This sucks.