I was just talking to an old friend of mine who recently lost 40 pounds. I kept asking her, how did you do it? What did you eat? I didn't so much ask about her exercise routine. After I was thinking about it, I realized I was asking her and have been getting ideas from others about what they eat and I seem to want to ignore the reality of what I've been eating for about 6 weeks. I listen to them tell me they upped the lean protein and veggies as though they have just gifted me with the holy grail of weight loss technique. I stand in awe as they say they eat smaller portions and fill up on water; I make mental notes of the genius that is them. Really?!?!?!?!?! I need not worry about what others eat or do, I need to focus on me again. I let that go for quite a while. It was simple for the first 40 pounds, the last 10 may have been dumb luck. For real. The first 40 pounds, I did the math. Calories in, calories out. Portion control vs. portion distortion. Food for fuel instead of comfort or celebration. Eat less, Move More. Move a LOT more! Exercise was routine, it's something I JUST DID, like brushing my teeth. Now, it feels like a 'project', like something I'm 'working on' vs. what I JUST DO. JUST DO IT. The old adage of our good friends at Nike.
I lost my focus. My life totally sucked, no joke. But, I didn't stop brushing my teeth... so why did I let my other routines slip away from me? I let it go. I wasn't even telling myself I would 'start tomorrow', I just let it go. I'm coming to terms with the damage, the time lost and the stalled weight. I have to be honest with myself first. It was hard to pack and prepare meals because I was staying in random places with random people. I could have stepped up the effort though, it was just more easy not to; that didn't save me any work, in the long run- it created havoc in my weight loss, mood and progress. Part of me is stuck on the fact that in almost two months, I lost a total of just 3 pounds and I find it disgusting. There is another part of me that knows I was in a situation that would have made it easy to gain 15 pounds those same two months and the fact that I didn't might be the progress itself. I have grown and become stronger since starting this, there is still room for improvement. There is still room for truth. There is still room for more strength.
I also started a conversation with a gal yesterday who is looking into some weight solutions clinic. You pay $112 a WEEK for protein shakes and super vitamins. "You don't have to exercise at all" and she knows a girl who lost 9 pounds the first week. I wrote down the phone number and everything. Really?! These conversations happened because I stopped looking inward, stopped asking myself to be accountable and honest with ME. You can't do this for someone else, by someone else's method, with someone else's rules..... Be true to yourself and be good to yourself. I'm trying..... :)
I agree, you gotta do what works for you and that means a plan that you can sustain.
ReplyDeletePlease don't be hard on yourself for a three pound loss in two months, you've had a stressful time in your life and as you said, you could have gained instead!
I've always gotten an honest vibe from you, but it will serve you well to constantly assess like this. It will!!!
ReplyDeleteI think your 3 months of mostly maintaining is not bad. Some obesity experts seem to say that those who need to lose A LOT should do it in steps: lose/maintain, lost/maintain. Alternating phases. Whether they are on to something or it's a load of crap, dunno, but read enough to think, maybe it makes sense. Plus, if you CAN maintain, then you can reinvigorate to lose. Maintenance requires skills, too. NOT regaining: tough as crap.
You're gonna do this. You're smart, you're self-aware, and you got balls. GO FOR IT.
I can totally relate with you on this post. My weight loss slowed down a lot this year. And I finally woke up and started being honest with myself. I've made changes and seen slow results. :) You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI too, have not lost in awhile. I am going to get back on track. We can do this!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend whose daughter is close to 300 lbs & a senior in high school. She is drinking the body by vi shakes and losing. I am so sad for her. I want her to lose, but I want her to learn to make life changes.
ReplyDeleteI feel you though. There is no easy way.
Those money making fad or as seen on Tv stuff...I recently found seen a former room mates bottle of Acai Berry and read the schpeel. I actually ordered them once with the special 1 dollar or 5 dollar offer. There was some fine print in the online transaction to join some online health web thing which they charged me 45 bucks for. I called and cancelled. I can get over the as seen on TV, but when they say "as seen on Oprah" omg...Oprah? The take something to lose weight is how I met up with tweekers. Man they do suck!
ReplyDeleteLove your post topic. We do need to be honest with ourselves.
What a fantastic post! You are completely right those conversations you have where everyone tells you what they're doing to make it work can really mess with your head and I never really thought about the fact that it's because I stopped looking inward to solve my problems. Losing weight is simple but it's all the stuff in our head that gets in the way.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite part of this post was your reminder to just do it. I do so much faffing around analysing, talking, deliberating and comparing that I forget that I can do this, I've done 100lbs, but I have at least 100 more to go and I need to find that simplicity again where it's just my way of life not a constant effort.
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ReplyDeleteDon't worry about anyone's progress but your own. I don't think any of your progress was dumb luck I can tell that you are making an effort. I think any amount of progress is a victory!
ReplyDeleteHere is a fav qoute...
"If you lose today, win tomorrow. In this never-ending spirit of challenge is found the heart of a victor."- Daisaku Ikeda
This is a great post Miss April! I think so many of us can relate to your exact thoughts and feelings. I am actually there myself. I love the fact that you point out that even when life hands you curve balls, you don't stop brushing your teeth. Why? Because you know you can't and it's not healthy. Yet we let ourselves slide in other ways - like our diets and our overall dedication to our health.
ReplyDeleteI think you are getting back on that horse though. I always think admitting to yourself (and the blogging community) that you have slipped is the first step to getting back on the horse. The new year awaits! The question is: What will you do with it?
I don't think it;s bad to get tips from others, some of the things that worked best for me were things I picked up from others. I also agree that a miniscule loss through crisis is not something to beat yourself up about. Not gaining during a hard time is hard enough but you lost/maintained. I think you are doing well and have the right mindset, you'll get to where you want to be.
ReplyDeleteI agree with others, don't beat yourself up over it. Life happens you deal with it and you move on, if you dwell on it you can't move forward. When people say you have to do what works for you it really is true. A diet that may work for one, may not work for you. In my case I tried many diets until I found one that I could live with and happily live with. Good luck on your journey!
ReplyDeletehttp://loserlike-me.blogspot.com/
I found this "But, I didn't stop brushing my teeth... so why did I let my other routines slip away from me? I let it go. " to be such an excellent statement. I too let somethings slide but never others (so my goal is how to make exercise and healthy eating part of the non-negotiables)
ReplyDeleteThanks for that.
3 months of maintaing is better than gaining!!! Learning to be kind with ourselves is part of this process, give yourself a break. Life in chaos and no gain = sucess. Stand up, dust yourself off and go for it :)
ReplyDeleteI love this post , inwortnsomething similar just the other day, you said it better. Anyways you can do this, you are strong, find yourself and get back at it. You are worthy of a healthier you. So just do it!!!! I'm in it to lose and get healthy are you with me? Let do it!!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry I wrote something was what it was supposed to say.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I am always asking people for help and answers and really we know lots of them already but we need to hear them too. You know April, what you have to do and you can do this because you've already done it. We all lose our way once in awhile but we just need to find our way back. You will April, you will.
ReplyDeleteTake care and have a blessed week.
Only the tough survive April so you will do that & do much more! Congrats on the loss!! :-)
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