Slimmer this Summer, week what?! Update!

Last week's weight: 285
This week: 279

Like, whoa! 

This week was over in the blink of an eye, but was a roller coaster from start to finish.  I was a hot mess on more than one evening due to crazy emotions and life kicking me in the teeth in general.  I used that as fuel and walked, walked, walked, walked.  I didn't do the DVD workouts and strength like I had planned - I just literally walked my ass off.  One evening I was out walking out at the high school track and I had done 12 laps (3 miles), I kept going and quit counting, but probably spent another 45 minutes walking.  When I noticed the sun had set, I figured it was time to go home. 

This was a big loss, 6 pounds is stellar.  I am very happy about it.  It's a good jump off for the month of August!  My trip to Sin City is so close I can taste it, that is a huge motivation to keep working it out.  I will NOT use a freakin' extender on the airplane this time.  I had to use one in April for the first (and LAST) time ever.

Thank you for all the comments and support on my last post, it is much appreciated.  I know I need to put the past in the past.  I found this quote a couple months ago and have been learning how to follow its advice: "Make peace with your past so it does not destroy your future".  A little more to the story of my ex:  We were together 5-6 years with some off-ons, did some long distance for a while, it was crazy at times - but we were SO happy for the most part.  Everything just.... worked, sometimes perfectly.  It ended May 2010 as I was finishing grad school.  Over the last year, we have had a few conversations, a few 'sleepovers', a few moments where we talked and held each other like the old days.  Two months ago I realized that the relationship with him had become TOXIC, it was eating me alive to be with someone, but not be WITH him because he didn't want me anymore.  He acted like he did when it was convenient for him.  A couple months ago, he wanted to have another 'sleepover' and I said - no.  I said, sure I want to, but I know that it is not healthy for me or for 'us' anymore and I just can't do it.  We were on the phone and he acted like I should be honored to have such a gift of his presence in my bed bestowed upon me.  He said, are you sure?  We talked a bit more and he asked again, and I said "no, really - I can't keep up this shenanigan any longer, it is unhealthy and it confuses me because I know you don't really want me".  He just chuckled and said he was sorry I felt that way, before saying our goodbyes he said - one last chance on me coming over, going once, going twice.....  I hung up on him.  I felt like garbage.  I hated myself for giving into it so many times before during this last year we've been broke up.  I felt more used than I had before.  Knowing this just happened in late May-early June made it very difficult and depressing to see that by August 1 he's 'in love' with some skinny, blue eyed girl.  I know I have to put the past in the past, he's my ex for a reason (30 reasons to be exact....).  It's just not fair that he gets to be happy and it will probably be years before someone looks my way again.  Uggh.

Wow, that was a rant.  Sorry.  I had to get it out of my system (again).  I will formulate some more specific goals for this week and post later.  The overall goal will be to lose another 2-3 pounds, eat healthy, 1 sweet treat only this week, no fried food at all this week, walk every single day, journal every day, go tanning 3 times this week (I bought some minutes last week), and meditate at least 3x this week.  The mantra for my meditation time will be "strength, confidence, happiness".   I need a little of each.