I don't know what to write, but am thankful I'm hiding behind a computer screen to share this. My family suffered a very tragic and horrible loss on Monday night. Unspeakable. I've been trying to sort out my feelings, that hasn't worked.
Yesterday, I binged. I went to a favorite local spot and got two slices of pizza and some chicken poppers (nuggets). I went home and ate it, in the blink of an eye I think. I got up off my couch from wall staring, left my house, and went to another place and bought MORE FOOD. I bought a 32 oz sweet tea (like drinking syrup), a cheeseburger, and some fried potato wedges. I wasn't hungry. I was turning to my long term best friend, food. I needed comfort. I needed to feel numb. Then the shame. The crying effin shame of it all!
I don't know what else to say. I need help with this food addiction, maybe more than I realize or had ever admitted to. I didn't dare jump on the scale this morning, knowing full well it would be over the 300 that I vowed would never happen again on only Monday!
So sorry to hear about your loss. I know you'll be disappointed with the eating, but you really can't beat yourself up too much about it, not after suffering the loss of a loved one. Here's hoping you manage to find your way back on track before too long.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. It's at times like these where we always tend to turn to our drug of choice to numb our feelings. I pray that you find a way to deal with this addiction and find healthier ways to cope with difficult emotions. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. You have my prayers.
ReplyDeleteDon't be to hard on yourself. Just get right back up and start new today. Yesterday was a hard day. Try going for a walk to collect yourself. Talk with yourself and talk with your grandmother, I am sure she will hear you.
Sorry to hear of your loss of your grandmother. I am sending thoughts and prayers your way. You will overcome this addiction and this challenge placed before you. You are stronger than you think you are.
ReplyDeleteHave hope and faith that there are better days that lie ahead.
[[hugs!]]
I am so sorry to hear that you are goin through a rough time. I want yo u to know that I am praying for you and your family. Losing a grandmother is devastating. This is a challenging time for you and so many levels but you can do this. Just take it day by day ....
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