I got a card at work today and I laughed so hard I cried....

I found this card and note under my door this morning.  Pretty sure I know which co-worker it's from.  She's a peach! 

Things I love about you…


I love how you had a cashew in your cleavage all day and had NO idea.

I love how when your boss asked you why you were late three times this week, you said “Because I’ve been dancing with the devil!  Meeee-oowww!”, did a little jig and boogie…. Then left her office.

I love how the standing rule of staff meetings is that cake can NOT be served until after the business is done or else April won’t pay attention.  I dearly miss having cake with my tea at the staff meeting; thanks a lot for ruining that for all of us.

I love how we are in a BRAND new building with PERFECT carpet… except the trail of coffee from the copy room to your office down the hallway.  I love how EVERY time you go for a coffee refill, you curse all the way down the hall (at the other end to your office) and say, ‘I’m spilling coffee everywhere! Shit! I always make it too full! Why me? This sucks balls!’.

I love it when your bouncy curls are sexy and as big as the state of Texas, you have your black heeled boots, bling on the shirt, Liberace jewelry on and your make up is all pro-looking….  Are you going to a club or a rock concert?  None of the above, you’re at work.  Hooker.

I love how when it was time for all directors to help with inventory, via MANDATORY memo… you replied ‘Uh, no I’m not gonna do that’.  Boss – ‘And why not?’ April – ‘That’s not really what I do’.  And you got away with it?!?!

I love how the copy machine works fine for everyone who uses it, except you.  When you go in the copy room, I wait patiently for the cursing, slamming of drawers and punching of buttons to begin.  ‘I hate this thing.  The copy machine is broke! Hey, someone – HELP ME! This thing is fucking possessed!’.  Remember when you first started, people would run to your aid?  We all just ignore you now, operator error!!

I love how you go from all these expletives to upstanding professional in the drop of a hat.  You’re ridiculously smart, do you realize that?  Your vocabumalary is at least fifty times better than most people.  How many books do you read a week?  Yet, you find a way to work the word ‘balls’ into almost every sentence.   Solid Genius.  I also love how you read a book at work, all the time… and brag about it.  ‘I finished 7 chapters today!’.  Really?  Everyone else DID THEIR JOBS.

I love how you have a picture on your desk of a rat with the saying, “Despite all my rage, I’m still just a rat in a cage”.  Great song.  Great pic.

I love your taste in music and how on any given day Black Sabbath, Tupac, or Sade might be completely blaring down the hallway from your insane little corner of the world. Thank God you introduced me to CocoRosie.

I love walking in your office and finding you playing air drums to the beat of the music with two highlighters.

I love it when you laugh like a hyena for hours and I can hear it at my desk.  You’re usually chatting, playing a game or of course…. Reading damnyouautocorrect.com… PS – You have the cutest little giggle (before the hyena fits kick in, that is)

I love how when someone walks in your office to ask you a question or to do something – you say, ‘Name that tune first or no dice!!!!’.  I love how that little game led to refusing Finance a copy of your budget because the poor lady didn’t know any of the songs on your heavy metal playlist.

Gosh, I think that’s it.  Mostly, I love that you’re a loyal friend and you don’t gossip.  When people are gossiping you say, ‘Oh, I don’t know anything about it, I wasn’t there’ and you leave.  I can trust you.  You’re crazy as hell.  You might just be too damn smart for your own good.  You have been here only a few months, yet you have the best program and a level of respect from staff and community members that some haven’t earned in 20 years of working for this place.

PS – I think this list could be titled ‘Reasons why you should be fired!!!’…… How exactly do you get away with all this shit?  Teach me the ways.  Also, we need to find a hottie who loves all of this about you and more…..