46 hours of fasting down, 2 to go

I had my last meal about 46 hours ago, I had a late lunch on Friday afternoon, and haven't eaten since.  It is going well.  I feel like I did so much mental housekeeping.  I spent the time journaling, reading books, lying out in the sunshine, writing crazy random poems, and re-focusing my energy on me and all the positive and wonderful things I have going on for me in my life.  Wow, the list is so much longer than I thought it would be!  I love making lists and this one is a keeper!!!

As far as the hunger - it's still here.  I really had no problem on Friday evening.  I went for a walk and did a brief arm workout with dumb bells, nothing major.  I read about 100 pages in a book and then around 8pm I started to get hungry.  I drank a TON of filtered water, I mean gallons so no worries on hydration.  I made a nice hot mug of vanilla spice herbal tea, read some more of my book and went to bed.  I woke up on Saturday (yesterday) and was feeling strangely fine.  I opened up all the windows to let fresh air in, I read and got on here to catch up reading on Hurricane Irene (I don't have cable so couldn't watch it on the news).  I didn't really even get hungry until about 11am, I had a cup of tea for breakfast and another around 11.  Usually I only allow 1 cup of tea in the AM and one in the PM when fasting; but I did away with those restrictions and drank hot herbal tea most of the time.  Anyhow, on Saturday afternoon I turned my cell phone on to check messages and I had 4 from my Mother!  She was at work (she works a man's job to pay her bills - she works with a road construction crew currently) and forgot to take a lunch.  She asked if I could go to Subway and get her a sandwich and some soup.  I wanted to say I was busy, but how could I leave my mother working out on a highway starving just because I chose to be?  So, off to Subway I went and by then the hunger was very real, almost primal.  It took everything I had to not order my own sandwich or eat some of her soup. LOL.  I ordered her food and drove the 15 miles to take it to her on the highway and that was that. 

That Subway trip threw my energy off for hours.  I was hungry, I was pacing around my house and thought about giving up.  I didn't really want to leave my house, drive, spend money or any of that during this weekend.  I felt derailed, but realized I wasn't and had actually proved my commitment to this by not giving up when I was standing in line at the restaraunt.  I said a little prayer to myself and remembered why I was doing this, to honor and feel suffering the way that other people in this world do.  I re-focused. 

Saturday evening and night were a breeze, I got hungry but just drank more tea and water, wrote more lists, read more books, did more mapping of my little world and where I am and want to be to try to find myself again.  I felt great and slept well until about 5am and I woke up soooooooooooo hungry; that was 7 hours ago and I still haven't eaten.  I don't feel weak or anything, I actually feel good.  My stomach has stopped rumbling with hunger, it's like the feeling is there but it's in the background and I have focused on other things. In about an hour or two my friend is coming over and bringing me some of this salad .  It's going to be delicious, light and sweet - I can't wait.  I will just have some of that and dinner tonight is corn on the cob, watermelon, fresh tomatoes and maybe a yogurt.  I'm keeping it simple. 

I feel great.  For anyone thinking about doing a fast, I would recommend it if there are no medical reasons that would cause you any harm.  A 24-48 hour fast is simple.  I think almost anyone can do it.  It sucks, I thought about taking a bite out of my own arm, I thought about just sneaking a tomato or something - but that's not the point of what I was trying to accomplish.  Who am I to have this abundance of food and the financial means to buy food, pay rent, etc.?  I'm no better than anyone else in this world, things in my life have worked out and I have worked hard to achieve many goals - not everyone is given a chance though.  I feel deeply for those in suffering, in poverty, in homelessness, in personal turmoil, in mental illness...... I'm thankful for the privelege to work with so many different people as a Social Worker.  I'm thankful to have a warm bed to sleep in and I pray for the souls who do not have that.  They're just as human as you and I.  This has been a wonderful exercise in remembering that......